When you think you know it all…
I tend to suffer from this disease, or should I say dis ease?! Recovery is like life in a lot of ways…when it rains it pours and just when you think things couldn’t get worse they suddenly do. Then as the tears are pouring down my face there is a sudden realization-a sudden peace-and I find the will to start over again and things get better. Why is it always so back and forth? Why can’t recovery just be a continuing upward slant? Instead I feel like i’m doing the hammertime and don’t know whether i’m coming or going!
I’ve been in a real funk the last couple of days. Could it be because i’m 25 now? Maybe it is finally that I got my tattoo i’ve wanted for years and was allowing my parents to make me feel bad about it?
Ever notice how cruel people can be? And yet, I bet you that the person we are most horrible to is ourselves! Why am I talking in the “we”…i hate that. I am most hard on myself—I need to let it go!
I find that when i’m feeling down I like to listen to music that really expresses those feeling I can’t seem express. Some people might find that to be depressing, but I figure, the only thing depressing is pretending. So bring it on…
3 years ago